Hello Babes and Bros
When I was four years old my mother told me my biological father died in a car accident.
When I was 8 she told me he looked like a cross between Will Smith and John Leguizamo.
When I was 10 she told me his name was Randy
When I was 13 I found an envelope in her closet of custody papers saying that she had full custody of me and written on the front was “Katlyn’s possible father is FJ Mendes”.
When I was 16 I asked my mom’s mother and her father about my dad and they told me his last name was Allen and that they would tell me more when I was 18. (my grandfather died before I turned 17 and my grandmother won’t talk about it).
When I was 18 my mother told me that my biological father raped her when she was 15 at a house party and then 9 months late she had me.
After that I found the man who she said was my father thru Facebook, he was clearly not dead, I spoke to him and found out that my mother’s father took him to court to do a DNA test and proved that he wasn’t my father so the judge rewarded her custody because she did not bring anyone else forward. He actually had a relationship with my mom and I have a very good relationship with him to this day.
When I was 19 my mother’s high school best friend sent me FJ Mendes’s Facebook link. I messaged him for 2 1/2 years with no response.
When I was 21, maybe 22, I grew the balls to google his name and found his phone number. I decided to call him. (I also found out that he is the third and his biological father is a possible murder doing life in prison- who I wrote to and he thinks he’s my grandfather too).
It was almost exactly 5-6 years to date when he answered the phone. I said “Hello is this FJ Mendes?” He said yes and I said, “My name is Katlyn and I think I’m your daughter.”
We talked on the phone and thru Facebook for a week, he sent me a DNA kit, we planned to meet at one of my favorite restaurants.
I took my fiancé with me for support and when he walked thru the door it was like looking at an older male me.
We sit down and had a great dinner until he got a message on his phone which had the DNA results stating that there are some similarities in the DNA but that it is not enough to prove hi is my father. And I am devistated.
The next day him and I had lunch and he told me that he remembered the one and only time he met and slept with my mother at a party but he remembered using a condom…after lunch we went to a CVS to get a DNA kit. Took it together and he mailed it out.
About a week later we got the results that there were no similarities at all in our DNA. He told me he was sorry and would be there for me as a friend but basically wanted nothing to do with me.
I decided to message him back and tell him that my mom told me I was a rape baby and I didn’t need anything else from him except the truth and a blood test because I do not believe that he is not my father. He disagreed.
He stopped answering my messages.
I spoke to someone in the DNA department of the Steve Wilkos show and they said that if the same two people take multiple DNA tests then they should ALWAYS have the same outcome, not one with some similarities and the other with none.
He still will not talk to me. I still long for that father daughter relationship. I still do not know if my mother was telling the truth about rape or not. I still feel bad for having conflicting feelings. I still feel bad for not fully believing my mom. I still feel so much anger towards her for lying about my dad being dead and lying about what his real name was.
I will never get over this.
A girl needs her father.
A girl should have an amazing relationship with her mother.
A woman should not feel betrayed and broken by her parents.